Lately, reality television has become a hot topic of conversation in many circles. We are increasingly seeing reality television shows and documentaries that take the public into the lives of large families with young children: the Duggers, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Little People Big World and now Nadya Suleman's family in southern Calfornia.
Can you see both sides of this story? If you feel that this type of media attention is exploitive, what are some of the other options that you see parents such as Suleman having? What are some of the benefits that can come out of this type of programming either for the family being filmed or for viewers in general?
(Remember: the topics that we discuss here have the potential to be incendiary. Be respectful of your peers and remember that we are dialoguing as intelligent and respectful adults here.)
First of all, I’m going to point out that this story hits very close to home for me. I myself am one of nine children and I can thoroughly empathize with both sides of the story. My younger siblings were all conceived using in-vitro fertilization and it was due to the fact that my mother just doesn’t know how not to be a doting mom. She told me she didn’t know what she would do with herself or how she would live without taking care of children. So, with that logic in hand, my younger siblings were born. They’re two sets of twins, ages ten and three. I am still only the middle child. My circumstances are different than those of John and Kate, the Octomom, and the couple with eighteen children. This is because my family is fortunate enough to have the money and stability to support a large family. The other examples, however, do not. They are using their children as a means of exploitation and a way to gain money and media popularity. I cannot fathom anyone doing this but it’s sadly done. I can also blame the United States’ society in general. We are a society that loves reality television and seeing other peoples’ lives. We love to judge them as well. Do you honestly believe that if they put a fully functional family that large on television that it would have the same ratings? No, it would not. We love to see the problems that the family is faced with, the hardships. I cannot stress enough that the American population fuels these shows and even if you do not agree with them or can’t stand them, you have heard of them have you not? That is exactly the point. They are used to increase ratings and make money and nothing else. What’s the line from the Molly Hatchet song? I believe it’s “One man’s pleasure is another man’s pain.” I think that phrase fits perfectly here.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in third grade, I asked my friend how many kids she wanted to have. She immediately responded, “I want to have 1000 kids, so that when I finish giving them all a bath in the morning, I’ll have to start all over again.” Since then she has changed her opinion about how many children she wants, but it seems like Nadya Sulman has had this same idea, and is running with it. The Octomom has no job, has been living off of disability, no romantic partner, and yet still chose to artificially conceive fourteen children. It is simply preposterous to think that these children will be growing up receiving the nurture and care that they need. Besides the fact that this woman has no financial means to support these children, it will be almost impossible for her to provide her children with the responsive parenting that every child deserves. While this is, of course, the plight of the single parent, this woman chose to bring these children into the world knowing that she would be single. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a woman receiving artificial insemination to start her own family, but it is simply irresponsible to conceive fourteen children when you are single and jobless! So now, of course, she is forced to exploit her children by making herself a media-magnet in order to muster up any kind of income. I believe this woman is simply reckless, and I feel sorry for her children and the future that is in store for them. No matter how many nannies she can afford to hire to from doing TV appearances and interviews, nothing will ever replace the love they had to compete for with thirteen other siblings.
ReplyDeleteI can see both sides of the story and I do feel that Suleman is giving it her best and just trying to support her family and give them as close to a normal upbringing as they’re going to get. I mean you have a family with 14 kids, how normal can you expect to get? I don’t feel that the road she took in choosing to shoot the documentary was exploitive infact I believe it was informative. The paparazzi and garbage/classless tabloids just attempt to ruin her life with falsehoods and lies but this documentary is attempting to give a look into Sulemans life at a natural level. I think that the route she is choosing to take is fulfilling two very important needs. First and foremost is the need that she clothes and feeds her children. Second is the need that the true story behind her life gets out and those dime-a-dozen tabloid trash mags and bottom-feeding paparazzis don’t spread a story of lies about her. How can you hate a woman that is scratching and surviving, even if by means of government cheese and documentary money, in order to provide a better life for her children? The woman can’t possibly support 14 children on her own, hell there’s plenty of people out there that choose to run out the door whenever they are given one child to take care of. My heart goes out to Suleman and the amount of love in her heart she must have to take care of 14 children. And I can say that from experience because I was raised by a single Mom for part of my life and she only had to take care of two of us. Fourteen kids and it’s a miracle the lady is still standing.
ReplyDeleteHannah,
ReplyDeleteWow! I had no idea you were one of nine siblings! That must be so great to be part of such a huge family, knowing you have so many people around you that love and support you. And I completely agree with you. For someone like your Mom, who was in a stable relationship and had the financial means to support so many children, having so many was a great decision. But for people like the Octomom, who is receiving in vitro fertilization to bring children into this world that she simply cannot support, having such a large family is practically immoral. You are completely right when you say that we as the American public are perpetuating stories like this from existing. We are allowing this woman to exploit her children and her situation by feeding into this unconventional situation, and giving it our attention, positive or negative. By showing intrigue in any way, we allow people like that to end up in magazines, newspapers, and reality TV.
I am not one that really cares for reality shows, and I really did not care about the Octoman, Nadya Suleman, and her ridiculously large family. However, reading this article changes my opinion a bit. The article made me think about a subject that I would normally find pointless. I do understand both sides of the situation. On one hand, Suleman is making a substantial amount of money because of her children. One could even say she is exploiting them, though I am not sure that I would consider this to necessarily be exploitation. She also has gained much fame from having all these children and being on television, and it was entirely her choice to have another child after already have six kids. On the other hand, I believe Suleman when she says she did not plan on having eight babies at one time, and I do understand her reasoning behind trying to have a seventh child. I do not feel like she is exploiting her children, but instead she is just trying to survive and provide for her children. I also do not really think she really wants the fame she has gained, but rather has to accept the fame along with scrutiny as a result of her show. A great deal of money is needed to raise fourteen children. It seems like having a show is the only way for Suleman and her children to have enough money to survive. Many people are interested in a show such as this. This type of programming does benefit Suleman’s family financially and allows others that watch to show to feel better about their own lives because they probably do not have to face the same problems Suleman’s family does. Some people are very upset about how this woman, in their opinion, exploits her children, but it does not seem very necessary. Nobody can really understand the problems that Suleman faces. Though I am no fan of the show, I feel what she is doing is the right thing because she is providing for her family the only way she knows how.
ReplyDeleteHannah,
ReplyDeleteI think it’s really interesting and important for people who come from big families of eight or more children to speak about their own experiences at home. Coming from a small family, it is hard for me to understand exactly how difficult or easy it might be to raise such a large family. While I can assume that it costs a lot of money to raise many kids, I cannot really understand the difficulty of it. But if I know that there are people out there that have been able to do it without the exploitation of their children through the media, then it will stop the media and society from aiding in this. I like how you focus on the role of society, as we aid in the exploitation of these children. You are absolutely right when you say that NO one would be interested is watching a perfectly functional family do things. Instead, we love to watch conflict and “drama”. One man’s pain, really is another man’s pleasure.
Wow! First of all I could not imagine having 14 children. Growing up in a small family, I have no idea what this could possibly be like. I have only two sisters, one younger one older. For the better part of my childhood, until I was 17, my parents were still together. My parents were continuously struggling financially, and that was just with the three of us. Could you imagine having to take care of fourteen children? Imagine how much that would cost. It is hard for me to believe that she has enough time to tend to each of their individual needs. When I say this, I mean being there on a personal level, like when her little girl is picked on at school and she needs her mother’s support. Will Suleman be able to be there for each of them on the same level? Even though I grew up not having many material things, I had more support from my family than anyone could ask for. I hope that all fourteen of her children may get the same kind of support and attention. Looking at Suleman, I see a strong woman with a love for children. Even though she didn’t have much money and had no lover, she still wanted to have children in her life, so she did this the only way she knew possible, and that was in-vitro. Although, she ended up with eight children at once out of this, this was most likely not the intention. It was all depends how many take. In her case it happened to be eight. She must have gone into panic mode, as any other woman would have done. She must have thought that it was going to be impossible to support such a large family and was now concerned with the bigger picture, and that was simply survival of her children. When she was given the option of a reality television series, she must have seen this as her only option. How else would she have the funds to support her family? So, I guess what I’m saying is that I do understand her side and where she stands, and the hardships she has gone through with the whole experience. On the other hand, there was not much responsible thinking on her part. If you already have no money and no spouse, why would you consider having more children? This is slightly selfish. Seemingly, she was only thinking about the present and how she wanted more children and not thinking about the well being of the children she already had or the future of her new ones. The positive things that come from this filming, I believe, outweigh the negative things. For one, her children are in good health and being taken care of, which is definitely the most important thing to be considered. Mistakes might have been made, but they are already done, regardless, the mistakes were not made by her new born babies, so they do not need to suffer for it. The second positive thing that will come from the film is the informative information given to viewers. Maybe a filming like this will make people think a bit harder before making certain decisions in their own lives.
ReplyDeleteEmily…
ReplyDeleteWhen you say that the children will grow up without the love and nurture they need, I couldn’t agree with you more. When I was younger my mom worked as a waitress, and my dad always had some sort of small business of his own. For example, he owned a “hot dog” truck, which we named “Laudato’s Dog House.” So basically, we were never really financially stable. Growing up, many of my friends had it pretty good, meaning that they had many material things, a lot of toys and a lot of vacations. Even though money was often a problem, I was given more than enough love and attention from my parents. My mom and I have an incredible relationship. I can turn to her with anything at all and she will give me her undivided attention and support. When I need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there for me. When I need advice and am struggling with a tough decision, my dad is always there to help me out and give me advice. Another thing is that I feel I can be completely honest and open with them about everything. Now, being 19 years old, I look back and realize that this is the greatest feeling in the world, and I would not replace it with anything. I have sympathy for these children, as you do, realizing that they will not grow up with the same kind of support system. Who, or what, will they turn to? What will they do to compensate for this void? I guess only time will tell…
First of all, I do not believe that Suleman should have had as many children or even any if she cannot afford to have them. It is not fair to the children to live a life in poverty and on welfare. Reality shows today, I think, is what is to blame for these situations. The media covers these large families, and viewers look at these people as celebrities. A perfect example is Jon and Kate from Jon & Kate Plus Eight because after having a set of twins and a set of sextuplets, the drama of divorce in their lives is now publically followed, as a celebrity would be. Regarding this situation with Suleman, fourteen children, especially under the age of ten, are too many for one single mother to care for alone. I personally do not believe that any child should be exploited by such media attention. The children of this family should be able to live their lives as normal children and not be followed by paparazzi or anyone else. These children did not ask to be born. Even though the fame from television and websites is fun for a while, the children should be able to decide whether or not they want their life to be publicized. Although I do not agree with the children being exploited by the media I am a big fan of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. I enjoy watching the difficulties they face and how they overcome them. The one thing that I do not agree with is that they use their show to support the family. With this being a great benefit, I still strongly do not think that this is how it should be.
ReplyDeleteSuleman like other reality stars with large numbers of children is starving. She’s starving for attention and starving, literally. Even today families are starving with one, two or three children and Suleman has fourteen! She has been on welfare for years and swears that birthing eight children was not a planned act for fame. It seems like she really just has lemons and must make lemonade out of them to live comfortably. The other side of Suleman’s life is that of plastic surgery. She looks strangely similar to a Miss Angelina Jolie, a known adopter of many children, after some alterations. You can basically judge Suleman however you want, but the easiest way for her to make an income is to let everyone into her life. You may be fascinated by her single mom status and extraordinary amount of kids and watch the documentary filmed in the article we read. You may even want to never hear her name or see her face again because you think her 15 minutes of fame are up and were undeserved to begin with, but you know you’ll encounter her again. She’s now a costume and a play, amongst other things. It can be a good thing that she is now going to be joining Jon and Kate on TV because we can learn from these people.Not only is it family reality stars, it’s also regular reality TV stars on Real World and Survivor and the Bachelor that we can observe and understand. These people all want something whether it be money, fame, love, etc. It’s the human drive to get what you want no matter the consequence in order to survive. For some the need may be basic, food and some income, but for others they may want everyone to know their face. We all judge these “stars,” but it’s easy to understand that they have problems that are affecting their decision to exploit themselves on TV. Viewers can learn by looking deeper into their reality stars’ lives, experiencing their hardships with them, and learning more about life in general even though it isn’t their life.
ReplyDeleteNick,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree...reading this article opened up my eyes to a better look at what Nadya Suleman is living through. I hadn't even known her real name until I read this article. I just knew her as the Octomom. This article did a good job of portraying her in an honest light. I think that she is managing to handle things as well as she can. I am sad for her that her situation has caused her to rely on the media so much. There are some parents that do thrive on media attention for selfish reasons, but I really don't think that this is the case with this woman. And I think that will only add to the appeal of the documentary for most people. I honestly don't know how she can handle all of it. I would feel terribly alone, even in the midst of all the people in my house. I don't know if I will want to watch the documentary once it is all finally put together.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to congratulate your mom for doing something so great as having eight kids stably. It’s strange for many people today to think that conceiving that many children is wanted or likely but just as you said, society is shifting. Back up a few centuries and NOT having multiple children would be weird. Now having more than two kids is thought of as strange. People are more focused on making money instead of spending it on their offspring (i.e. I can’t believe I’m paying 40,000 dollars a year to send Julie to school!) This has led our society to find families with lots of kids almost crazy for being selfless. People love watching crazies, especially while leaning comfortably on their couch and gazing at a TV set. Thus, we have Octomom in our living rooms.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteReading your situation was really interesting to me. As I think about it though, what if your mother had six or eight children at one time. Your situation might not have been the same as it is today. Nine children sounds like it would be fun, I always wanted a lot of brothers and sisters. The point that you brought up about how the American population enjoys watching other’s hardships and reality television. I am a perfect example of this person unfortunately. I love Jon & Kate Plus Eight and before I came to college I would watch this show every week on Monday nights. The idea of so many children at one time amazes me, and I could not even think of how life would be if I were one of so many children in a family that lives in poverty. I would not be able to live how I am used to or even get everything that I need as I do today.
There was one person in this article that stuck out to me inparticular: Amerah. My heart goes out to this little girl. Every time she was quoted, she seemed to be angry or running away from the media people. And I don't blame her. She is in a very difficult place as a 7 year old girl. She's growing up without a dad, is living in a home where attention is not the easiest thing to get, and I can imagine somewhere deep down she feels pretty alone. She definitely wasn't showing many feelings of friendliness for the media crew, and honestly, I can't blame her. When her mom asked if the crew could film them saying goodnight and she very firmly responded no, it made complete sense to me why. Watching your mom work with a crew all day long and having the majority of the focus on the octuplets, having her mom in the room alone with her and her other older siblings was something that didn't happen too often. If I were 7, I would want my mom to myself, too I think. I hope that as she grows up, Amerah will not grow up too hardened to the world. I pray that for all her kids. I hope that somewhere, they can find a place where they are loved for just being who they are...not the label they have of being the kids of the Octomom.
ReplyDeleteI do understand both sides of Suleman’s story, I don’t think that this media attention is necessarily exploitive, however there are some obvious benefits to both parties in the agreement. I personally do not agree with Suleman’s choice of having so many children, especially considering she is an only parent, without a job; it’s very unrealistic and impractical. But that is my personal opinion, and obviously there are many people who take both sides. But unfortunately given her situation I think that having the opportunity to be on a reality TV show is something that will help her in the long run. Because she does not have a job, the money Suleman receives from agreeing to be part of a reality show will be her income and will help support herself and her children. She doesn’t have many other options with fourteen kids, raising them on her own. Yes she has nannies, but that isn’t the same as another parent, and they certainly aren’t as reliable. Once again, in my opinion having so many children as a single parent is kind of irresponsible, but as a result she benefits from the TV show because of the money she will receive. Also this type of show could be beneficial to its viewers, to show how difficult it is to raise so many kids alone. I have even read about how Suleman couldn’t find one of her kids one day, when in fact he wasn’t very far from home, but the reason she couldn’t find him was because she was so preoccupied with her thirteen other children. It’s just irrational to have so many children without be married. Surely there are some families who may be able to handle 14 childreen, but not many, so hopefully with this show others how difficult it would really be having so many kids.
ReplyDeleteSydney,
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I hadn’t even thought much about the kids because I was more focused on Nadya and her decision of have the eight other children. It never occurred to me how the older children were feeling, and now I feel bad that I hadn’t even realized it. I completely agree with the whole her seeming to be angry and left out that she can’t spend much time with her mom. But now this once again makes me think about Nadya and how her decision now impacted her other children. Having the eight children makes it so much harder for her to pay attention to her other children and they feel left out. I feel like that isn’t something a responsible parent would do. Basically no matter which way I look at, my opinion will always be that Nadya Suleman has made a very big mistake having so many children as a single parent.
This is certainly an interesting story and one that is probably more common than we see. I see both sides of Suleman’s story though. Suleman, however, I feel is somewhat irresponsible in her actions with the number of children she has. I come from a family with only three children. Like many families, at times it can be difficult to provide financial, emotional, and physical attention for all of us at the same time. With this in mind, it is hard to imagine a family with fourteen children. This notion seems unreal to me. It would perhaps be one thing if the family was being fueled in a well furnished home with endless possibilities for the expansion of knowledge, but in a family where there is one single parent who does not have the finances to provide support for all of the children the situation seems to take an interesting turn. I understand the love for children and the want to give birth to many kids in hopes of bringing up children with morals, manners, and intellect. I believe we all wish to make a difference in someone else’s life, but when you give birth to fourteen children and do not have the opportunity to do this, you run the risk of leaving these children on a far too difficult path. Suleman, like others that have given birth to a large number of children, though, have seen the benefits provided by the American people. Americans have this need to see controversy and drama. We watch television constantly. It is us that is providing Suleman and others like Jon and Kate to continue. Stars of these television shows are given opportunities based solely on the fact that we as products of our modern society need to watch these television shows on a regular basis. I understand and see both sides of Suleman’s story, but it is hard to support a mother of fourteen children that, I feel, has been irresponsible. Children need a lot of support, and it is a tough feat to do when you are doing it alone with fourteen of them.
ReplyDeleteHannah,
ReplyDeleteI found your comment extremely interesting. You knew you were going to have the most comments sent to you when you wrote you are one of nine children in your family! I had no idea! I found it hard to deal with only two siblings, I have no idea how you do it! I also liked your commentary on reality television and the hardships that we see. We as a society fuel on the emotions we see on the television screen. In a sick way we love to see controversy, we love to see hardship, and we love to see love. Shows that promote this are out not for the individuals involved but for the ratings and money that is associated with these individuals and their emotions. It is hard for me to watch a show like that because it makes me angry to see it on the tv. I think it is a terrible thing that one person’s life has been made into a television show. Further, I think it is hard to believe that a mother with her background will be able to fully provide for those children. You are very lucky!
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI found your post so interesting! I can definitely agree with you about American society. Every single reality show is based off controversy and we look forward to the episodes where people fight, relationships end or something out of the ordinary happens. We love watching people on these shows and talking about them after the episode is over. I can't imagine being OctoMom and the type of feedback she will get for this but it seems as though she has already faced enough problems with the society of America. You're family is so lucky and to have nine kids I'm sure you can relate to this. OctoMom seems as though she genuinely cares about her children and is just letting the media in to prove it. When this show does come out, the talk will never stop. I can guarantee it will blow up all over websites (as it already has with this blog) and magazines, as well as face harsh criticism from other TV shows such as late night talk shows with Larry King and Jimmy Kimmel. I can't say I'll watch the show when it comes out but I know it will be very interesting to see how it all plays out.
I can definitely see both sides of the story here. I have seen OctoMom on interviews on television and she doesn't seem like a fame monster personally, but she obviously doesn't mind the attention at all. Once this show comes out, there WILL be people that probably will provide her with money or some type of support after seeing how she lives. I believe this was a motive behind her allowing to let the cameras in her house with 14 kids residing in it. However, in her tv interviews that I have seen she seems like a really genuine person. She is soft spoken and is always attentive to her kids (not like she can really ignore them.) There are pros and cons to this situation. She will definitely receive support but in turn will also receive a lot of hate mail and threats. Her life and her kids lives are in danger because many people are upset about the situation. Angry and crazy people will try to harm her and/or her family so she must have security around 24/7, as well as being very careful of herself and her family. She is setting herself up for a big media explosion that is controversial yet appealing to society. In a way, it also seems as though she is doing this to show the general public that she actually does care for her family like everyone else does and she is a normal single mom trying to raise her kids the best she can. Regardless of her situation, it is a risky chance to take for anyone trying to raise a family. I'm sure this will all die down soon once another extraordinary family comes out. Until then, OctoMom will be the center of attention of many people in the U.S.
ReplyDelete